fatal orgasm

inside inebriation, on a cold christmas eve
you crept into my coffin, and you made me believe
that at the end of emptiness hides a feeling so clean
that the dirt of my soul would no longer be seen
but the truth could not have been farther away
no, you pulled me through puddles, then you pushed me away
then you dragged me through ditches, and pulled me back in
and then you began the whole cycle again
you criticized and belittled every move that i made
then you smiled and shrugged and you kissed it away
an ambivalence prince of a masterful grade
would not understand these games that you played
how can i be shocked? How can i be stunned?
your best friend and your sister both told me to run
but my stubborn existence denied all their claims
so for all of my anguish, only I am to blame
but oh, how providence smiles in the blink of an eye
she left me alone without saying goodbye
and though i know destiny’s blessings, i always have lacked
i do continue to pray that she’ll never come back
i know this sounds cruel, i know this sounds cold
but it’s necessity, i feel, for the truth to be told
so please disregard every word that i said
i’m a liar, i’m a thief, i’m the lively undead